dearest david,
is the act of confession something that Jesus promoted or was that something the Churches later made up? it seems that to confess is to admit to sin and guiltiness. yet it also seems that it is a way to release sin and guilt in an honest and sincere way. sometimes i feel that when a brother has harmed me, his admitting to the harm and desire for forgiveness is an act of respect, grace and love towards himself and me. is it better to skip confession altogether and merely change my mind about the sin? in other words, use Course principles like "forgive them for they haven't done anything at all." is this a form of denial? and does it help my brother learn from errors if forgiveness is granted without responsibility? your perspective is greatly appreciated.
with love & gratitude
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Beloved One,
Confession as a symbol of not hiding or protecting any thoughts from the Holy Spirit, with a willingness to expose that which was previously hidden and pushed out of awareness, is very Helpful indeed. This is a very useful step toward the realization of, as you say: "forgive them for they haven't done anything at all." As the mind becomes immersed in Purpose, the need for confession vanishes, but until the experience dawns then confession serves to free the mind from the denial of Love by exposing the error.
Exposing private thoughts only seems personal and threatening to the ego that is identified with them. Confession, properly perceived, offers only release. "No private thoughts" is one of our two PeaceHouse Guidelines, and it is being adopted in many homes and ACIM groups and by friends who are recognizing that it is a fast-track for healing. Intense as it may be at first, the results of trusting Holy Spirit and the mighty companions and being willing to "take the lid off" of these feelings and thoughts means everything. When you can see that the thoughts are not true, and they are not reflective of Who You are, it's not long before these thoughts are laughed at and seen as illusion.
The Purpose of holy relationship is healing, and finally seeing the perfect Christ in ourselves and in each other. As issues such as lack of patience, expectations around intimacy and intellectual concepts of what partners should look and act like arise, we can be sure that the relationship is coming much closer to fulfilling it's loving Purpose. Each time peace is disturbed, and feelings of hurt or anger or irritation arise, this is an opportunity to take a look at the beliefs and thoughts within the mind, to raise them up to Holy Spirit so that they can be released, so that things can be seen differently. This is where the trust comes in.
When we take the plunge within and allow our mind to uncover what is down there, we give our mind the opportunity to heal. Our relationships then can only become more trusting, loving, open and honest when we continue to trust the Holy Spirit to lead the way.
Here is a section from the Course that reinforces the ideas I have just shared:
Text: Chapter 15. The Holy Instant. IV. Practicing the Holy Instant
The holy instant is a time in which you receive and give perfect communication. 6 This means, however, that it is a time in which your mind is open, both to receive and give. 7 It is the recognition that all minds are in communication. 8 It therefore seeks to change nothing, but merely to accept everything.
T-15.IV.7. How can you do this when you would prefer to have private thoughts and keep them? 2 The only way you could do that would be to deny the perfect communication that makes the holy instant what it is. 3 You believe you can harbor thoughts you would not share, and that salvation lies in keeping thoughts to yourself alone. 4 For in private thoughts, known only to yourself, you think you find a way to keep what you would have alone, and share what [you] would share. 5 And then you wonder why it is that you are not in full communication with those around you, and with God Who surrounds all of you together.
T-15.IV.8. Every thought you would keep hidden shuts communication off, because you would have it so. 2 It is impossible to recognize perfect communication while breaking communication holds value to you. 3 Ask yourself honestly, "Would I want to have perfect communication, and am I wholly willing to let everything that interferes with it go forever?" 4 If the answer is no, then the Holy Spirit's readiness to give it to you is not enough to make it yours, for you are not ready to share it with Him. 5 And it cannot come into a mind that has decided to oppose it. 6 For the holy instant is given and received with equal willingness, being the acceptance of the single Will that governs all thought.
T-15.IV.9. The necessary condition for the holy instant does not require that you have no thoughts that are not pure. 2 But it does require that you have none that you would keep. 3 Innocence is not of your making. 4 It is given you the instant you would have it. 5 Atonement would not be if there were no need for it. 6 You will not be able to accept perfect communication as long as you would hide it from yourself. 7 For what you would hide [is] hidden from you. 8 In your practice, then, try only to be vigilant against deception, and seek not to protect the thoughts you would keep to yourself. 9 Let the Holy Spirit's purity shine them away, and bring all your awareness to the readiness for purity He offers you. 10 Thus will He make you ready to acknowledge that you are host to God, and hostage to no one and to nothing.
In Love & Gratitude,
David
